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(Or why some people use neopronouns in the first place, and an argument for their usage.)
Over my time on the internet and in real life, I've noticed a certain disdain toward neopronouns. I also understand why the disdain exists, after all, I used to hate them as well. I remember a few years ago, when I was 14, I first came across them and was a bit wary but also intrigued. I tried out a set, had my fun, but didn't care. Then I jumped on the hate train, because if he is for guys, and she for girls, then they is for everyone else, and we are all restricted in pronoun usage, so there is no sense for anything else, right?
Well, let's just say that my opinions have changed greatly since then (I've had my character development which took me from the edges of nearly being a pick me queer and a conservative queer/"balanced centrist" in approx. the next 1.5 years after reaching the age 15, thank the universe).
I went from a neutral opinion to hating on them, to actually thinking over them again despite my discomfort with such "unnatural" and made up words. The fact that I was hypersensitive to anything I thought of as "cringy" didn't help, it truly was an uphill battle to admit that they might have some usage. Hence, even my view today on them is rooted in logic rather than "let's just let people have their fun" (which is an okay argument but not satisfying in my opinion, and not rigorous enough to stand the test of time).
My breaking point after disliking them for so long was that I wrote a non-binary character, one of the four main ones, in an original story of mine. One episode featured them prominently, and so when I was finished and happy with the written and thrice edited version, I let it lie for a bit and came down a few weeks later for the next several edits.
The problem was that I could not tell whether the non-binary character or both them and their dialogue partner (he/him pronouns) were doing said things. Technically it might've been a problem of my writing, but it did touch upon some of my anxiety I've already been having about they/them pronouns, which I have been using at the time.
Now, I'm not saying singular they/them is a unique grammatical liability in the English language. Vagueness due to pronouns isn't new (see: you singular and plural needing clarification sometimes, confusion when two people of the same pronouns set interact/speak/etc. and the describing of these occurrences in written form, etc.), but in my panic for the absolute best technical writing, I saw this as another thing to correct, amongst my desire for perfection in other aspects of writing (grammar, story structure, punctuation, etc.).
Hence, I decided they would now go by ze/hir pronouns (I use they/them here because they/them is generic and gender-vague and can be applied to anyone. I'd also use it for their convo partner in this text). I decided to go by ze/hir pronouns as well, due to how they appeared as a nice blend of 'him' and 'her', and were a middle ground between 'he' and 'she', fitting in quite organically with the rest of the English language. Due to people even in niche NB circles misreading the 'hir' [pronounced as 'hear' or 'here'] as 'her', I decided to go for another set (ze/zan).
Despite my initial motivation being grammatic, there is also a personal gendered aspect to my desire for a pronoun set different from 'they/them', and that is differentiation. Pronouns do not equal gender, yet 'she' means something in our society, 'he' means something in our society. Someone going by these pronouns is saying something, whether its conforming or rejecting or saying something else altogether. I however do not care. I wish to distance myself from the binary and do it in my way. Gender-wise, I am not a combination of man or woman or in between or in any way related to it than it is to me, by not being a part of it. I wish to reflect that when I am spoken about (hence why I realized ze/hir might not be so good for me either, but may for others). My current pronoun set fulfills what the 'natural' pronoun sets such as he, she, they, it, you, I, do in English. It looks unfamiliar, but so did many words look unfamiliar to me when I first learned the English language online through exposure.
I also wanted something 'for myself'. They/them is nice, but a binary woman or man can also be 'they' and take no offense if their gender/pronouns are unknown. It is a neutral yet gendered pronoun, because it expects gender to exist, as it is used in place of not knowing gender. Sure, today, it is also common to use it for non-binary people specifically, but singular they is justified grammatically today for coming from a "I don't know if you are a he or she so you can be they and then you will become he or she upon discovering" past. It's not inherently bad, I just personally dislike it, and if he can be mostly for masculine people (or those who wish to say something about their relation to masculinity), she for feminine, and they for those who are vague or non-binary people, then I wanted something distinctly neutral other-gendered. Neopronouns fulfill that need.
A small note for the end, I also use it/its if people can't use ze/zan because they are unfamiliar with it (however, someone disliking neopronouns isn't a valid reason. Valid reasons include neurodivergence or not being good at English/not being a native speaker, etc). I hated it/its when used for humans because "why can't they just use they", and I've realized it's quite a good pronoun for agender people. They implies gender, but vague, meanwhile it? Well, that is a pronoun used for things and concepts that one wouldn't even think of tying gender to, which many agender folks relate to.
This entire rant is essentially just trying to explain why neopronouns matter. I really needed to write this out, because as I've said, I don't think I've ever seen an argument like this be made, even if it's lying right there in the open and is quite easy to defend against a "It's a new word and difficult to learn" ("Many words are new and difficult and weird and people learn them all the time when needed") and such other arguments. Also, I just prefer this reasoning personally above "It's not hurting anyone" (I'm not saying it's a morally better argument or whatever, just that this argument may aid in the debate against neopronoun exclusion).
That is to say, this isn't nowhere my entire opinion. Neopronouns aren't a monolith, some are easier to pronounce, some sound more English, others less-so, and we can't pretend the dominant culture around them won't decide whether (or which ones) will stick around, and which ones will fade into obscurity. And even in my opinion of defending new words, and that new or weird words aren't morally wrong by themselves and should not be chased away just because they're "cringe" (sloppy argument), it is clear some will fall away, and have fallen away for some people over time for the sake of practicality. For the development of that, only time will dictate the course.
Over my time on the internet and in real life, I've noticed a certain disdain toward neopronouns. I also understand why the disdain exists, after all, I used to hate them as well. I remember a few years ago, when I was 14, I first came across them and was a bit wary but also intrigued. I tried out a set, had my fun, but didn't care. Then I jumped on the hate train, because if he is for guys, and she for girls, then they is for everyone else, and we are all restricted in pronoun usage, so there is no sense for anything else, right?
Well, let's just say that my opinions have changed greatly since then (I've had my character development which took me from the edges of nearly being a pick me queer and a conservative queer/"balanced centrist" in approx. the next 1.5 years after reaching the age 15, thank the universe).
I went from a neutral opinion to hating on them, to actually thinking over them again despite my discomfort with such "unnatural" and made up words. The fact that I was hypersensitive to anything I thought of as "cringy" didn't help, it truly was an uphill battle to admit that they might have some usage. Hence, even my view today on them is rooted in logic rather than "let's just let people have their fun" (which is an okay argument but not satisfying in my opinion, and not rigorous enough to stand the test of time).
My breaking point after disliking them for so long was that I wrote a non-binary character, one of the four main ones, in an original story of mine. One episode featured them prominently, and so when I was finished and happy with the written and thrice edited version, I let it lie for a bit and came down a few weeks later for the next several edits.
The problem was that I could not tell whether the non-binary character or both them and their dialogue partner (he/him pronouns) were doing said things. Technically it might've been a problem of my writing, but it did touch upon some of my anxiety I've already been having about they/them pronouns, which I have been using at the time.
Now, I'm not saying singular they/them is a unique grammatical liability in the English language. Vagueness due to pronouns isn't new (see: you singular and plural needing clarification sometimes, confusion when two people of the same pronouns set interact/speak/etc. and the describing of these occurrences in written form, etc.), but in my panic for the absolute best technical writing, I saw this as another thing to correct, amongst my desire for perfection in other aspects of writing (grammar, story structure, punctuation, etc.).
Hence, I decided they would now go by ze/hir pronouns (I use they/them here because they/them is generic and gender-vague and can be applied to anyone. I'd also use it for their convo partner in this text). I decided to go by ze/hir pronouns as well, due to how they appeared as a nice blend of 'him' and 'her', and were a middle ground between 'he' and 'she', fitting in quite organically with the rest of the English language. Due to people even in niche NB circles misreading the 'hir' [pronounced as 'hear' or 'here'] as 'her', I decided to go for another set (ze/zan).
Despite my initial motivation being grammatic, there is also a personal gendered aspect to my desire for a pronoun set different from 'they/them', and that is differentiation. Pronouns do not equal gender, yet 'she' means something in our society, 'he' means something in our society. Someone going by these pronouns is saying something, whether its conforming or rejecting or saying something else altogether. I however do not care. I wish to distance myself from the binary and do it in my way. Gender-wise, I am not a combination of man or woman or in between or in any way related to it than it is to me, by not being a part of it. I wish to reflect that when I am spoken about (hence why I realized ze/hir might not be so good for me either, but may for others). My current pronoun set fulfills what the 'natural' pronoun sets such as he, she, they, it, you, I, do in English. It looks unfamiliar, but so did many words look unfamiliar to me when I first learned the English language online through exposure.
I also wanted something 'for myself'. They/them is nice, but a binary woman or man can also be 'they' and take no offense if their gender/pronouns are unknown. It is a neutral yet gendered pronoun, because it expects gender to exist, as it is used in place of not knowing gender. Sure, today, it is also common to use it for non-binary people specifically, but singular they is justified grammatically today for coming from a "I don't know if you are a he or she so you can be they and then you will become he or she upon discovering" past. It's not inherently bad, I just personally dislike it, and if he can be mostly for masculine people (or those who wish to say something about their relation to masculinity), she for feminine, and they for those who are vague or non-binary people, then I wanted something distinctly neutral other-gendered. Neopronouns fulfill that need.
A small note for the end, I also use it/its if people can't use ze/zan because they are unfamiliar with it (however, someone disliking neopronouns isn't a valid reason. Valid reasons include neurodivergence or not being good at English/not being a native speaker, etc). I hated it/its when used for humans because "why can't they just use they", and I've realized it's quite a good pronoun for agender people. They implies gender, but vague, meanwhile it? Well, that is a pronoun used for things and concepts that one wouldn't even think of tying gender to, which many agender folks relate to.
This entire rant is essentially just trying to explain why neopronouns matter. I really needed to write this out, because as I've said, I don't think I've ever seen an argument like this be made, even if it's lying right there in the open and is quite easy to defend against a "It's a new word and difficult to learn" ("Many words are new and difficult and weird and people learn them all the time when needed") and such other arguments. Also, I just prefer this reasoning personally above "It's not hurting anyone" (I'm not saying it's a morally better argument or whatever, just that this argument may aid in the debate against neopronoun exclusion).
That is to say, this isn't nowhere my entire opinion. Neopronouns aren't a monolith, some are easier to pronounce, some sound more English, others less-so, and we can't pretend the dominant culture around them won't decide whether (or which ones) will stick around, and which ones will fade into obscurity. And even in my opinion of defending new words, and that new or weird words aren't morally wrong by themselves and should not be chased away just because they're "cringe" (sloppy argument), it is clear some will fall away, and have fallen away for some people over time for the sake of practicality. For the development of that, only time will dictate the course.
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